Treading Water

For quite a while now, I feel like I have been treading water. Just doing enough to stay afloat and avoid drowning, but not really making any progress toward anything. You see, without some sort of tangible plan in place, it's like I am witless as to what to do. There are so many things that need to be done that I really don't know where to start, so I just never do. Don't get me wrong, I take care of my children and make sure that all their needs are met (except maybe for the need for candy as breakfast fare, or the baby's need to whack Mommy in the face repeatedly... I do not try and meet those needs for the kiddos). As my husband says, as long as the kids are alive and healthy at the end of the day, that is all that matters. And they are alive and healthy at the end of the day, so I have accomplished my most basic task. But while that may be the most important task to fill my day, it is not the ONLY task.

I feel, as a SAHM, it is my job to not only care for the kiddos, but to care for our home as well. This is where I am lacking. As many of you know, we moved into this house (our first house) in June 2009. Seven months ago. You know how many framed pictures I have put up on the wall in those 7 months? Zero. How many rooms I have painted? Just 2. Granted, we did do a major renovation in the kitchen, with the generous help of my Dad, and I love it! But when it comes to the smaller, day-to-day items that I need to do to make this house feel homey and to keep it looking good, boy oh boy do I need help.

Part of the problem is that I am just plain old lazy. I enjoy watching tv and reading books and trolling the Internet for fun Mommy Blogs, and they are so much more fun than cleaning!

Another issue - it seems that in my avoidance of housework I have inadvertently trained my kids to need me by their side for most of their waking hours. So even when I do get that rare urge to scrub the floor, my kids put up such a fuss that Mommy is not playing with them that I feel guilty. I love that they like spending time with me - it is a great thing! It just makes it hard to get other things done. I guess as they grow older this will get easier and easier.

Another problem is my standards. I have incredibly high standards for what a Clean Home is. My Mom, and her Mom before her, were SAHM's. They were the type of SAHM's who stayed home all the time... literally. We didn't make many trips out to the store or to the park or wherever. We played at home, in the yard, in the neighborhood, while Mom was at home, usually cleaning. My Grandma, to this day as far as I know, vacuums her floors EVERY DAY. My Mom often missed out on some of our after-dinner family TV time because she was in the kitchen washing dishes. Their homes were spotless. Mine... not so much. So, even though I know that I have a totally different Mom style than they did (I need to get out of the house a few days a week, I make my husband wash the dishes, I play on the floors instead of cleaning them), I still hold myself up to their standards of clean.

Instead of waiting for the floor to feel sticky under my feet, I need to mop on a regular schedule. Clean windows on a regular schedule. Dust on a regular schedule, on and on and on. We have to get started on the Spring Cleaning. I know it is only February, but with the pace at which we move, we should start now to make sure we are done by autumn. Anyway, what I am realizing is that I need a written cleaning schedule and I need to hold myself accountable to it! Yes, it is much more fun to play cars with the kiddos, or go to Target, or bake cookies... but wouldn't it be even more fun doing those things without the little voice in the back of my head nagging about what else I SHOULD be doing? So, my goal in the next week or 2 is this: look around at different cleaning schedules, and composite them into one that will fit my lifestyle and home. Once I get that done, I will post it here, hopefully to keep myself accountable to follow it! (And yes, I know I am giving myself a far-away deadline, but I also have a 4-year-old's Birthday Party to plan and execute, so I am trying to be generous to myself)